however am i supposed to react to whatever? however people expect me to react i'm gonna react the exact opposite. now, my thousand apologies if i left whoever disappointed once again. do you hear em ringing? really, try justifying something if you make a certain statement. if you can't justify even that then try justifying yourself and if you aren't even capable of that then yeah, go get a life someplace else cause this just ain't the place for you. seek solace somewhere else and you'll never know you might decide to stay right there and never come back. i'd be glad if you and your candy ass don't return, ever.

had an uncanny dream which gave me a weird feeling. perhaps it was all still on my mind subconsciously. nevertheless, very unexpected. okay, keep guessing.

all in all it's goodbye and i'm outta here.

slacked the whole night away at holland. crapped alot as usual. now i'm at home and am very bored.

my style of love is:

EROS

I believe in true love and love at first sight. Physical attraction is paramount.

what's your style of love? | mewing.net. where love goes to die.

You are Form 9, Vampire: The Undying.

"And The Vampire was all that remained on
the blood drowned creation. She attempted to
regrow life from the dead. But as she was
about to give the breath of life, she was
consumed in the flame of The Phoenix and the
cycle began again."

Some examples of the Vampire Form are Hades (Greek)
and Isis (Egyptian).
The Vampire is associated with the concept of
death, the number 9, and the element of fire.
Her sign is the eclipsed moon.

As a member of Form 9, you are a very realistic
individual. You may be a little idealistic,
but you are very grounded and down to earth.
You realize that not everything lasts, but you
savor every minute of the good times. While
you may sometimes find yourself lonely, you
have strong ties with people that will never be
broken. Vampires are the best friends to have
because they are sensible.


Which Mythological Form Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

surprisingly i'm not feeling any slight symptoms of fatigue whatsoever, despite a really long night. haven't slept at all the entire night and truthfully, i have no idea too why i'm not tired at all.
last night at zouk was a hetic night cause so many things happened within those hours. it was alright actually except for the bad part which was really bad. hope that everything will tide over soon. i'm sure that if we all know our limits everything will be fine once more. what's right/wrong actually? even i don't really know anymore.

benefit of the doubt. how many times have you been given that? and what underlying implication does it carry?

supposed to have just finished my piano lesson by this time. however, due to unforseen circumstances i did not turn up for it at all again. think it's really gonna be quite hard to reschedule all my lessons as i've been skipping way too much. well, not that i am particularly fond of lessons but skipping lessons frequently sucks. okay, i'm well aware of that. don't stare! what are you looking at? sneer.
i really feel quite bad now because i couldn't get myself outta bed! 10am lesson, should i blame myself or what? yes i should bear the consequences of my own actions. now i have to practise extra hard. yada yada blah blah.

caught "wishing stairs" yesterday. thought what i saw could have been better but anyway i don't think it's as scary as other korean/japanese horror flicks. the plus point is that at least i didn't have nightmares nor was i perturbed by certain scenes from the show late last night.

(results of a quiz)

You are attracted to those who have split personality, like cold as ice on the outside, but hot as fire in the heart.

In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is moods-swing, blow hot and cold in love, vacillate.

The impression you would like to give to your lover is loyal, faithful, never change.

What you hate most in your partner is the person's arrogance (acting like a dictator which pisses you off).

The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is that both of you can talk about everything and anything, no secret is kept.

You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything wrong after marriage.

You are afraid of marriage, you think it would take away your freedom.

At this moment, you don't want to be tied down by a steady relationship, you just want to flirt around.


accuracy.

throbbing throat, hope it doesn't get any worse.
up at this unearthly time due to countless/intense worries but everything turned out just the way i wanted :)
cousins are over, think they're quite bored. what's there to do anyway, especially at this hour? i too am lacking some form of entertainment and a big part is caused by not having cable tv. give me the liberty to blame someone!
gonna meet up with cel and angela later and i really wanna see how her hair looks like now! shoe-shopping. hope i find a pair of shoes that i fancy. and then its off to esplanade, i love that place. the artsy fartsy place - cultural/dance/arts/music village.
its well built, well furnished and above that, it just is a worthy attraction. a reflection of how the country has advanced in terms of artistic value. still, not that comparable to others afterall. but good attempt.
clear indication of boredom.

had to change my skin because the bandwidth of the maker of the previous one probably exceeded or something? guess i'm feeling pretty comfortable with this for now and in the meantime, waiting for another new one that catches my eye. nothing around is exactly nice.

tummyache again. bad stomach. bad system.

i have to admit that i really do miss my much longer hair.
A HELL LOT, to be exact.

can't stand it when people start invading your privacy.
i know there's no formal rule stating you can't 'unofficially' check up on people's lives by reading their blogs. there obviously isn't any rule like that. and that results in the numerous people who actually creep up behind their computers surfing from blog to blog, reading up on people's lives. these people probably gain the satisfaction of being able to find out about what is going in others' lives.
so you learn more about other people you can't speak to? so you actually do this everyday, sneaking up on puny blogs whenever you can spare the time? so you're dying to know about what's happening? are you lacking of a life as interesting as theirs? does what you read give you more topics to talk about in your daily conversations with your so-called 'company'? does it give you more reasons to indulge in more gossiping? does it give you more room to speculate what the hell is actually going on? does it then give you the right to spin and fabricate stories which are pleasing to your ear? twisting it to suit your own?
to whoever: i think you derive infinite joy from putting all of the above into practice. in my opinion, you are a fucking lowdown creep. and i'm so sure you know yourself who you are. it might not just be one person but this message goes out to the fuckers who do all of the above. this blog wasn't put up for you to learn about what's going on, to speculate and then to start your own chain of stories. if you feel that you have to do such a thing because you have no fucking life of your own, then i'm feel incredibly sad for you. yeah, but you totally deserve it. get real, trashheads.
it's pathetic that due to your uncontrollable nature you can't keep the secrets of people who trusted you with them. i feel sorry for these people because you are so terribly untrustworthy. at least, i can tell you safely that i will keep my friends' secrets and that is something you, unfortunately, are not capable of. so don't ever dream of trying to get anything out of anyone at all, because all of us we won't reveal shit. now how well do you actually know us? ask yourself that before you ever bother to try prying stuff outta my friend. it's not gonna work at all. if you plan on trying, i suggest you try harder. or else, dont bother. cause at the rate you're going, its simply pathetic.
i feel that if the person reading your blog is your mutual friend, it's perfectly alright. but if that person has absolutely nothing to you in any way at all and if you are not even accquaintances, i still think its okay, acceptable. but not when things get nasty where people try to find out more than what merely is the appearance itself. what for do you try so hard? don't bother trying too hard because if you aren't in my shoes then forget about the 'trying to understand' part. just fuck it, it wasn't any of your business to begin with. so i suggest you stop poking your head into anything you're not involved with. you'll never be involved in any of mine or my friends' matters, so quit it.

You are the one who holds back your feelings from
others and yourself. You dont want to show
people your weak u dont want sympathy. Your
strong but maybe... you should show ur
feelings, just alittle*


The type of pain ur eyes behold
brought to you by Quizilla

(to a special friend of mine)

i really don't know what to say to you. been trying really hard to cheer you up but it's not working at all and i feel that i've failed as a friend. i've realised that in all that i've done, i've not failed to remind you of that matter. i know you're trying really hard to put it in the past and i'm aware it really ain't something easy to do. but i have faith in you, we all do. you'll make it through and i'll always be here for you.
you sound so despondent, afraid and tired. how i wish i could be there to help you through this period of time, if only you would let me. perhaps you're really shutting yourself out and if that's your choice, i don't know what to do anymore. maybe i haven't tried my best to help you walk outta that horrid shadow. but i'll do anything just to see you smile and laugh again and to see you happy once more.
so please let me know, let us know. if we haven't really expressed ourselves clearly, we want you realize now that we care for you a hell lot and we wanna be there for you, if only you'd let us.
i wouldn't be able to understand your pain but i feel for you as a friend. don't give up hope on yourself, please don't. time will heal all wounds, trust me on that? start life anew and don't let the past haunt you. i'm sure you can do it. trust yourself and have trust in God.
i hope you'd cheer up.

it was over at wei's place today when the muffins could finally unite. pleased with the unification signal, but perhaps we could improve on it to make it a little more, impressive? finally had a good but short chat with the both of them after what seemed like a couple of months. been ages since i saw them, been ages since i saw thane and wei too. actually its been ages since i ever saw anyone - since the start of the last week when i've started finding solace in stoning and sitting at home, perpetually glued to the couch. but it was all good, surprisingly.

having a tummyache right now and i must say it really is uncalled for at this point of time. just when i have to complete some reviews, perfect timing this is. must be the junk food we bought from the convenience store downstairs just now, the quality seriously sucks. expired and long overdue stuff? because that's what it seems to all of us. 2004 could most probably have meant 2002 or something and look now what harm it has caused me.

i'm in pain and it is terribly annoying.

how should i spend this night? there are actually, several alternatives. ultimately, there seems to me no way and no where i can spend the night peacefully and undisturbed.
the longing to experience heartache and feel pain once again, the desire to lead a solitary life and to be away from the hustle of city life. these mere thoughts are enough to inspire me into searching for a new life somewhere else, something that i want very much now. there's this want in me to lead a second life aimlessly. as dull as it may sound, there is much more meaning to this than what i'm actually saying here. perhaps only i would understand at this juncture. but that's all that matters isn't it? i don't need you, you or you to understand what i'm driving at here.

my apologies for not being able to attend your party brother, hope it went well. sorry for wasting your time cause you spent some time persuading me on the phone, but don't worry we'll see each other soon i promise! :)

to my two close friends who are experiencing problems now, i really hope that things will turn out just fine for the both of you.
firstly, i swear i'm gonna kick that fucker's balls and break his fuckin face for doing what he did. i curse him. he's gonna get thrown into prison and in there he'll rot to death. psychotic bastard. these people should be thrown into the mental asylum if their minds are fucked up and lack the ability to function properly. i curse him.
secondly, another crazed, self-centered individualistic bastard. maybe all the lies should stop and he should jolly well learn to take a holiday from all the crap he's been giving. hasn't she done enough for him? there's no attempt to appreciate and treasure what he has. no one should be taken for granted, no one deserves to be shouted at. show some respect for the other party, you have alot to learn, still. and you don't know shit.

can't seem to find my section of the project work and i gather i might have misplaced it or rather already lost it. what am i gonna do? fretting, fretting. wouldn't need it tomorrow but definitely need it next week! if i can't find it, it means i have to start from scratch again, every single article and review i've done. hell.

first quarter of the day spent on proj work with the group. when everyone decided to move on to having food, it was much agreed on. after all that we had accomplished(not that much), we do deserve to reward ourselves by filling our tummies.
glory came shortly after that and the both of us happily set off on our shopping spree. was a pity we didn't see anything that caught our attention so i would say today wasn't much of a spree that was much anticipated. well, in time to come i guess?
sorry to have kept charine and cindy waiting! i apologize girls and hope both of you liked the lollipops which definitely weren't a form of bribery! cindy you're so wrong my dear little muffin!
char i'm thinking of that t-shirt. its dope! am i supposed to buy it? it's waiting for me there, still. and i'm still contemplating who i should give it to if i buy it eventually. cindy you stand a chance :)
spent an hour or more slacking/talking and i was enjoying myself, just rambling on and on. so girls, we must carry out THE PLAN and it must work but do not drag me too deeply into it or else i'll really come for you!

cut a tape of my favorite songs
said what i can't face to face
i hoped that you would share all my thoughts
we are young and unimpressed,
with all you'd recognize.

so play it all over
turn it wide.
now there is nothing but a
mix tape left behind
now it won't rewind

in my care we are superstars
run you lipstick down your chin
while up ahead we saw such a crash
right there a song became a soundtrack
for this space in time.

so play it all over
turn it wide.
now there is nothing but a
mix tape left behind
now it won't rewind.

wonder is often lost
jaded at such a cost
age undermines you when you close your eyes.
we pass right by you.

so play it all over
turn it wide.
now there is nothing but a mix tape left behind
now it won't rewind.

rewind by better than ezra, a feast upon my ears.

halloween yesterday. had lots of fun with the girls yesterday down at SOS! our initial plans to dress up were put off sadly due to the lack of innovation and creative minds. nah, not that. but the main factor was we were lazy to put our plans into action. last night was da bomb! saw many many friends there and we were just busy catching up. it's great to see these darlings of mine whom i've not been meeting up with due to our busy schedules. so glad i got to see and talk to them. even though the crowd wasn't as appealing as the last time, the company clearly made up for it. some new additions to the usual clubbing group and i see it expanding, which is good! everyone can now all have fun together every friday night :)
whenever we're there we never fail to have fun. it's becoming apparent to me that zy's actually gonna be leaving very soon. friday nights are never gonna be the same with her absence. this one significant girl in my life, i'm gonna miss so very much. only got close to her this year because we happened to be in the same class and we've been through our fair share of crap and trash. but still we always manage to make it through, which brings us to today where we've become good friends. it's been a pleasure knowing her and i'm never gonna forget this close friend of mine though she's gonna be packing off to jakarta.

stayed over at celeste's house yesterday with angela. her three cats are intriguing. add that to the fact that i don't particularly like to have close contact with animals of any kind. those cats, those eyes. they scare the hell outta me. especially when we got home and went to bed at a most unearthly hour spending the night walking up and down looking for food. it is most terrifying when you turn your head and see a cat staring down at you. glaring, to be more precise. ugh, cats. sorry sis but they really annoy me, heh.

never thanked my parents for anything they've done for me before. never said 'thank you', never expressed my appreciation in any other way either. but i actually do appreciate everything they've done for me. and i actually do have a problem with regards to expressing myself in this case, which might be good or bad? i have no idea. though i know its highly unlikely that they'll read this, i just wanna say a BIG THANK YOU.

only slept from say, 5am to 7am. tired but i don't feel like going back to sleep.