visited the doctor again this morning for the third time in six days. the pain doesn't seem to have the ability to expel it's horrible self from my stomach. a realisation quite sometime ago would be that my immune system is rather weak. however, only after the past week have i finally been able to come to terms with it. the miserable plight i'm in, the anguish.
i'm here blogging away when almost everyone is practically doing their general paper exam right now. well, they should be anyway. a tinge of self-satisfaction here and uhm perhaps, euphoria? hah, what the hell. oh come on, i'm feeling sick alright? that's why i'm not taking the exams. and i'm absolutely not faking this. sitting through a three hour long gp paper - what a dreadful thought which is currently being fulfilled by everyone taking the paper right now. i've got tomorrow covered as well, which is what i actually think is the only thing worth rejoicing over. a major concern of mine would be passing the damned math paper and now i've got a choice whether to sit for it, or otherwise. ultimately, the crucial decision would be left to my dearest mom. i, on the other hand, as i forsee, would be subjected to scrutiny and examination as a result. whattt! did i just mention exam? and result? okay i think i'd be better off if i shut up bout this whole issue altogether.
i'm beginning to wonder how much longer i'm going to bore myself by speaking of nothing else but the dreaded exams and my perpetually-taking-very-long-to-heal illness. you can't blame me can you? my life has been monotonous for the past week as my home(oooh!) has been a totally fabulous place to be in. perhaps things will liven up when i manage to get outta this hellhole. oookay, till then.

what's with me and all these quizzes? haha guess i'm really bored. do you think all these make sense? are they even accurate at all? hmmm seriously i don't quite think so. but perhaps, to a certain extent. okay.. whatever.

what number are you?

this quiz by orsa

In The End. You are apathetic and indifferent most
of the time. Nothing seems to worry or affect
you and you rarely show emotion. What IS the
point anyway?


Which Linkin Park song are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

Black:
PEOPLE SUCK THE WORLD SUCKS EVERYBODY SHOULD BE
KILLED AND BLEED TO DEATH TILL THE COLD EARTH
SOAKS IN BLOOD. Well, you're angry at the
world. For reasons who knows, but you
definitely hate life.


What color do you see the world in?
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your bitch.


What swear word are you?
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cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed


What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

great, finally managed to get some rest free of disturbance last night. the pain wasn't so terrible BUT i can feel it coming back for revenge now, just when i'm about to get down to studying. perhaps i should just not even attempt studying for the first time in the entire block of holidays. i'm majorly screwed for the mid-yr exams which begin tomorrow. good lord, how many times do i have to repeat that? lol. argh i'm feeling shitty now because i don't wanna fail don't wanna fail, but i'm going to anyhow. ENOUGH.
school is re-opening tomorrow welcoming us with arms wide open with a special gift/bonus, ironically being.. UH YAH we-all-know-what-i'm-referring-to. what a wonderful way to begin school with EXAMS right after the holidays. this is the first time i'm experiencing this, well i guess jc life kicks asss as it is a total eye-opener. i love my school.. HA HA RIGHT. i think it's pretty weird how mid-yrs are worth 20% and promos are worth a high 80% and then they calculate that to see if you get promoted or not. wouldn't you be so dead if you screwed your promos up? i'm wondering what would happen to me when that time comes. ahh maybe i should refrain from such negative and redundant thoughts for now, it's scary.

alright i just had my lunch. how does three days of consuming the exact same meals sound like to you? great yah? i totally so adore this lifestyle. well, there's still pain from the illness and the worst part is the most unbearable and insufferable time of the day would be when everyone's happily dreaming away. agonizing, torturesome. it's gonna take sometime before this blows over. whennn exactly i'm still contemplating. despite all these i'm definite bout one thing, just one - i'm so fucked for my mid-yr exams.
anyhow, life goes on.


false pretense
a lack of resonance
a derisive sentiment
and confidence.

these bonds were always fake
crafted for safety's sake.
but pasted wings,
and foil rings
do not an angel make.

i see you left me with your,
your last word.
it's ringing,
with the noteless shrill of jealousy,
and the claims of imperfection,
and the crying out for,
the things that you deserve.
but your voice is never audible
beneath the anger in your words
it's ringing,
it's breaking me.

you can't belittle this,
this could change everything.
this one is mine to believe.

this is unparalleled,
a grace that's like gravity,
a clarity i've never seen.

but the hottest words can cauterize,
and in anger, there's just wasted time,
so your last words, just another,
i won't hear.

this damp air
is fighting my defroster.
my sighs they ring victorious
& fog this tinted glass.
it's clouded
& so is my head.
the hint of these new tears are sharp.
i try to hold them back.
it's useless.
i am useless against them.
they are beating me with ease.

i really really wanna thank melvin(with a bigbig star) for helping me out with this blog and this is to let him know that his help is really appreciated and i'll be looking forward to more help being offered by him lol a million thanks :)

what a wonderful way to begin my first entry. i'm suffering in pain. excruciating pain. just got back from the second trip to the doc's in three days? yes, i've got the gastric flu. the pain is killing me literally and i don't know how much longer i can take it. i can't even get proper rest because the pain is bothering me and depriving me of the rest i ought to have. worst still, mid-year exams are starting next week which leaves me approximately three days to study. adding to this horrible fact is that, i haven't even started AT ALL. i have no idea how i'm gonna make it through this. uh, actually i shouldn't even harbour thoughts bout making through it at all. ha yea i should be preparing myself to face the upcoming failures instead. yes, that's what i'll do for now. isolating myself for the next few days is what i'm supposed to do and rest plentifully according to the doctor's advice. she said to concentrate on nursing my health first and that studies would be secondary in this situation. i guess she's right? i chose to believe what she says even though i know it ain't all THAT right because i guess people tend to believe in what they want to, but not reality itself. blahh blahh blahh.